GOODBYE TO RELAXERS and CUTTING MY HAIR OFF !

Yes, I am seriously saying goodbye to chemical relaxers and cutting my hair off. What’s the big deal you ask?

For months I have contemplated cutting my hair off but procrastinated for fear that I would not like how my round face would look in short hair and neither would anyone else. I was also concerned that I would not be able to put my short hair in my go to style: a pony tail. What would my husband and kids think as they have always seen me with a full head of hair. How would my natural hair be perceived in a professional setting ?

Most of my fears were unwarranted especially when there are more important issues to worry about. I decided to focus on why I was deciding to cut off my relaxed hair and why this was a step in the right direction for me.

My last relaxer was July 2019, a little over a year ago after which I vowed to stop relaxing my hair. The transition has not been easy and dealing with two different textures can be challenging. I had a full head of thick kinky curly roots and long stringy relaxed hair for months before I decided to cut it off. Truthfully, I had been on this journey before. About 3 years ago, I stopped using relaxers and grew shoulder length natural hair before I decided to chemically straighten it again. My decision to straighten my hair came at a time when I was traveling for work as a locum medical doctor and I wanted a hairstyle I felt would be “easy” and “low maintenance”. It wasn’t long after when my hair began to break and thin out. I honestly don’t regret relaxing my hair because over time it solidified my preference for natural chemical free hair.

I am sure there are a number of women who because of the pandemic, and the risk of exposure or poor access to a stylist, have decided to go back to natural hair but in my case the pandemic had nothing to do with my choice to stop relaxing my hair . I will say the pandemic reinforced the idea that I did not want to feel reliant on another service or chemical to feel comfortable with who I am.

A few years ago I had several bad experiences with chemical burns on my scalp and inner ear infections due to the use of relaxers. While using the spray hose to rinse off the cream, the stylist had gotten some of the relaxer into my ears. As a result, I had to be seen by an ENT doctor who diagnosed the inner ear chemical burn and infection and prescribed antibiotics.

As a result of the above experience I became apprehensive about seeing hair stylists and began relaxing my hair at home when I wasn’t traveling or away. I have always been the type of person to “DIY” and I was comfortable doing hair. Over time I realized as much as I did not mind doing hair, I began to hate relaxing my own hair. I literally started to dread the process and found it stressful. I worried about the potential health risks and about the potential of the cream falling into my eyes. I struggled to apply the cream with gloved hands while holding a wooden stick or comb. It was a challenge applying cream to areas of my head that I could not see well. It was all so clumsy and I was tired of the aggravation. Why was I doing all this? Just to have straight shiny hair? Just to fit into someone else’s idea of beauty? Was this what I really wanted?

My teenage daughter was always quick to remind me that I shouldn’t feel obligated to process my hair as beauty standards of the world have changed and that natural hair is beautiful and more readily accepted. More women are embracing their natural hair and she for one had no interest in putting a perm or relaxer into her curly hair.

Once I decided to stop chemically straightening my hair I could have shaved it off like some people do and give myself a fresh new start but instead I chose to transition over months and then cut off my relaxed hair.

How did I feel after cutting off my hair? I felt lighter, happy and relieved that I was no longer holding on to limp ends. It was a good feeling to let this part of me go, very liberating especially during this time with all the stress of the pandemic, the state of the world, upcoming elections and life in general. This was a small thing that made me feel hopeful much like planting a seed in anticipation of watching it blossom.

Seeing my short hair took getting used to but once I washed and blow dried it I was pleasantly surprised by the appearance of my small afro. I have always had naturally thick hair, although the strands are very fine and more prone to breakage from chemicals or direct heat. I can’t wait to grow back long natural hair. Some women look cute with short hair, I just don’t think I am one of them!

In the past, my hair grew well when I kept it in low manipulation styles or protective styles like these crochet braid styles I tried recently.