Dare I say Happy Fourth of July? As an immigrant to this country my perspective is complicated. Is it not possible to love this country and still hold it accountable? I love this country and have never regretted living here. I moved here from Nigeria when I was almost 16, over 30 years ago. There is no other place right now that I would rather be. Yet like many of you it hurts me to see all the injustice that so many people of color have had to endure for so long.
My immediate family will not be celebrating Fourth of July this year as usual, not just because of COVID, but because it just doesn’t feel right. I would be hypocritical to say that in the past we did not celebrate Fourth of July. Like most Black Americans who “celebrated”, it was on a superficial level. An opportunity to hang out with family and friends, maybe get dressed up in colorful clothes, eat some really good grilled food and watch some fireworks. For me, Fourth of July meant a day off work, so why not take advantage of it and have a good time.
I will never forget the first time I had to work on Fourth of July. It was my first job out of medical school working as an Internal Medicine resident. I was so relieved to be done with medical school in South Carolina and super excited to be back in New York City with my family. This was about 20 years ago and I was married, had a baby boy and was pregnant with another.
Only a few days into residency I was exhausted and looking forward to a break on Fourth of July. In my mind I had planned to get some extra hours of sleep, hang out with my family and eventually make my way to Brooklyn to eat something nice with my mother and brothers. I assumed Fourth of July was going to be fun and relaxing because lord knows I wanted a break.
I remember getting my work schedule and realizing I was on call that day into the next day and would miss the fireworks, celebrations and any plans I had made. I was so upset and in tears. After that experience which seems rather trivial now, I made it a point to be off work whenever possible to spend with family.
When my children were young we looked forward to doing something fun on the Fourth of July. We would buy matching tee shirts from Old Navy and then head to the beach or to the local school stadium to watch the fireworks just like most Americans.
Fourth of July means something different for all of us and in the past it was just an opportunity to spend time with my family and do something fun. Doctors need time off too and as an immigrant it felt unpatriotic to question the holiday or its significance. How could I not celebrate the USA’s Independence Day when this country has afforded me the life I live? That was my thought process then, but now I see things differently. 
As 2020 has been a year of reflection I have found myself questioning my perspective about the Fourth of July and what it means to hold this country accountable.
It is no longer possible to not see things on a deeper level or to recognize the hypocrisy on which this land was built on. Why am I celebrating the Fourth of July? Independence day for who? How can I celebrate while my Black & Brown brothers and sisters continue to suffer? As they say once you know better, you do better.
This country is not perfect, far from it, but as I said before, I love the USA. I want us to do better and I believe we can in time. In writing this post I am also aware of how privileged I am compared to people from other countries but until there is true independence and liberation for all I can’t celebrate the fourth of July.
Thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment or different perspective.
-Habiba Tunau MD
Another Blog post you may like : https://www.habibatunaumd.com/healthfoodinspiration/my-experience-with-racism/
Find me on Youtube : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifAWgef0QTk&t=388s
