Habiba Tunau MD

 It is interesting how we can all be related, live together and yet be very different.   My husband Kenton will tell you he is an introvert although when required he can be talkative and engaging. I on the other hand consider myself an extrovert and more so now than when I was younger.  

We have three children and all three seem to be introverts like their father although I am still hoping Karim my middle child ( born in December , a Sagittarius )  is just shy and may actually be more extroverted like me.  

Also interesting but not related to personality – at least I don’t think so- but two out of my three kids are left handed like their father. Guess which one is right handed and artistically inclined like his mother? Karim. 

My kids are content reading a book to themselves or playing a video game alone or together but it is possible to walk into a room with them all in it and the room remain quiet. 

When I walk into a room  I want the curtains open, the sun shining in,  the music on and a sense of life and activity. I am loud and always eager to engage or talk.  Kenton and the children know once I am up it is time to do something fun or go somewhere interesting.  Sometimes I look at my kids and wonder how we could be so different but then I remember as a child I was often very serious and introspective.  I guess we all have different sides to us and sometimes it takes time and maturity for those sides/ personality traits to be fully expressed. 

On Saturdays  we try to go out either to a public event, sightseeing, shopping or anything fun available in and around town.  When the kids were little we took them mostly to parks, fairs, museums, bookstores and any international or multicultural event.  We were never the type of parents to let them go to other people’s houses for sleepovers or drop them off with relatives for long periods of time. Not to say parents who let their kids spend a lot of time away from them were bad but we were never comfortable doing that.  On the other hand we often had children over for parties especially since I love to host and entertain and their kids were not without friends . 

I remember when the children were very young like five and six and even older,  people would walk up to us in restaurants and say “ Your kids are so well behaved”  Or my peers with kids would say they didn’t take their young kids to nice places for fear the child would act up.  In retrospect I think our kids learned discipline at home and were used to going out with us everywhere all the time.  We treated them like intelligent beings who knew to behave respectfully.  

Here is a short piece I wrote on raising smart kids : https://www.habibatunaumd.com/healthfoodinspiration/raise-smart-kids-immigrant/

Now that the kids are now teenagers  with their own personalities and opinions they are less eager to go out with Kenton and I.  They would rather stay home and catch up on school work or watch television and I understand but sometimes it is still nice to have them come out with us. Case in point a few months ago my oldest son was home for the weekend from college and I requested he come support his father who would be up early to volunteer for a hospital event.  At the outdoor event which had a lot of colorful people and vendors there was music and I started dancing . My son and daughter seeing me dance in public were clearly embarrassed and wanted to flee the scene. I didn’t take it personally and figure they have always been introverts coupled with the fact that they are teenagers and everything seems embarrassing at their age. 

Here is a video of that day:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGGVfMKMAqs&t=168s

How are you and your children different or you versus your siblings?  I would love to hear from you in the comment section below!